"...Knowing my luck, I'll come back as me!"

"I've got this horrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I'll come back as me!" - Rodney Trotter

The quote doesn't foreshadow the mood of this post, it just made me piss myself laughing!
This is quite a happy blog post! Today, I have hung out with my family, met up with my Dad again, spoke to Lauren for over an hour (thanks for dying on me, phone!) and am just about to go and make some food. In short, it's been a nice, relaxing day. Pub later!!!

Southern Comfort with Lemonade (my usual) or Strongbow? I haven't decided yet. One's manly, and the other is Strongbow! (canned laughter here)

I really do need to do some filming soon, though. Maybe tomorrow - it's too dark to get the shots I need now. If only the tape hadn't corrupted... Sorry if this post isn't coherant, I'm just getting some thoughts out of my head!

Type some more shit up soon!

Everyday Life: Game Over

New concept for an Everyday Life movie. Read the synopsis here:

"John has returned home to visit the family. Deciding to go on a day trip, the family returns to find that something lethal has escaped from John’s Xbox – a Left 4 Dead hunter. Now, John and Vannessa must recapture it before all hell breaks loose in Barrow! "

Novels, Nights Out and Suits...

So, it turns out that my goal of attracting a girl at last nights' party was not to be. I had everything I needed: suited up, alcohol and I enttered with three very beautiful girls. Shame that all the girls at the party were taken, really!

Never mind, as the poem goes; "The best laid schemes of mice and men, often go askew". Plenty more oppertunities to try before Christmas...although, I might need to get my suit cleaned - there is white powder all up one side of it, and it looks like I fell into a giant bag of cocaine!

In other news, I've begun writing a book! Based on my amateur machinima 'Resort of Horrors', the as-of-yet unnamed book is little more than a 2,000 word prologue. However, it is starting to sound good, I think. Here's a little snippet for yourselve to judge:

"“Thank you, Thomas” Daniels smiled at the reassuring look on Farley’s face. In the distance, thunder rumbled loudly once more. This time the earth seemed to shake a little. Above the men’s heads, the lights swung back and forth slightly, skewing the shadows almost unnoticeably." - Prologue

Let me know what you think in a comment! Until next time, guys!

My New Shirt...

So, my new shirt has arrived from the Team Starkid store! I think you'll agree that it is nothing less than totally awesome!:Severus Snape shirts are always a winner! Totally gonna go out and flaunt this boss new shirt around tow tonight, I tell thee! If you'd like this shirt, or other Starkid designs, visit this link! Reasonable prices for top gear!

Another Photoshop Painting

Yeah, they aren't amazing, but I enjoy doing them. This is of a sunset:Constructive Criticism is much appreciated :)

I want to make a movie...

...But could I get away with it? 'Everyday Life' works well as a series of shorts, but to make a 30 minute film...I'd need a great script, a lot of free time and actors who would be willing to sacrifice their time for free.

I dunno, it depends on how many people want to see an 'Everyday Life' film... I'd like to have music composed specifically for the film too, so that way I could sell it on as my own work. It's a toughie. Plus, I'm not sure if I'd feel right making a film version. I might write a draft script to see how it might look. Until then, speak soon!

It's Been a Big Weekend...

So, this weekend was pretty eventful. Suited up and got absolutely shredded wheat last night, as all drinks were £1 at Chilli Whites! Yeah, 15 glasses of Southern Comfort & Lemonade plus a Dirty Pint (which was more of a bowl!) didn't help me make any sense at all, so I was steaming!

The night before that, I didn't really do much. Come on, it was a Sunday, and in the imortal words of Oasis: "Stay in bed and sleep all day (as long as it's Sunday!)" - 'Stay Young', The Masterplan.

Saturday and Friday were much more evenful. Saturday saw me Snape up once more for a fancy dress night out, which culminated in me walking home at 3 in the morning in heavy (and I might add, beautiful) snowfall! Saturday, I met a very nice girl who I totally blew it with! (points for getting the film I'm referencing!). Seriously though, I think I may have come on a tad too strong, and she got the wrong impression of me. Still, I'll await a text for a few more days, but I'm not expecting anything. It seems she saw it as a one-night thing, and that's cool with me (just confused as to why she gave me her number!).

Getting my sob-story outta the way, I have a lot of grovelling to do to a certain Sophie who I spilled my drink on last night (white dress, golden burbon, big no-no). I might actually give her some money to help with the cost of cleaning/replacing.

Anywho, best be off guys, lots to do and feck all time to do it in! Post soon!

Yeah...no.

Disregard the last post, cos it was flipping boring!

Time to grow up

Time to Grow Up

Friends, it is time for me to grow up - and up, I shall grow. To be honest, there is only so long that you can kid yourself you're still care-free, and I reckon it's time I started being a little more mature and responsible with my life. It is becoming increasingly obvious that the way I act is a nuisance, so I think a change is necessary. See you all on the other side!

Photoshop Painting

So, this is a random painting I did using Adobe Photoshop CS4. It's not amazing, and it's not really meant to be anything, but I thought I'd post it anyway! Criticism of a constructive nature is much appreciated!

Friday Update

So, this Friday Update might become a regular thing, in some attempt to make me motivated enough to make a new post at least weekly :P

Well, Halloween was interesting! Dressed as Severus Snape and had a blast with Duncan, Richard and Jack (plus Sian, Beckii, Rachel etc at various points!). Here's what I looked like:


I know, right. Totally sexy!
Otherwise, went to the Fund our Future march against higher tuition fees, and made my stand against the coalitions bullshit! Complete power of the people...though considering we were out for nearly ten hours, I wish I'd packed more than 4 Nutri Grain bars!

Relationship wise, I'm still sailing solo, but I am perfectly content :) Depression is under control at present - touch wood forever! Will update again soon! Much love!

The Bottom of It All

So, lately I've been feeling a bit out of sorts, so I went to see a Doctor. Turns out that jolly little Johnboy has anxiety (again) mixed with moderate depression. Might even have Thyroid issues. Gotta wait 'til I have my blood tests to find that out, though.

Typical! You wait all your life for a serious illness an then two (maybe three) come along at once! But, I'm gonna stay positive, keep of the drink (i'll miss you cider!) and ... wait ... keep of the drink ... No Southern Comfort? Holy shit! Totally not fair.

Crazy days. I'll keep you guys posted.

...

"I guess that's why they call it the blues, time on my hands could be time spent with you..."
"Til now I always got by on my own; I never really cared until I met you"
"I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me!"
"I wanna dream lover so I don't have to dream alone"

So yeah, there's a girl I like but don't want to tell her.
Crazy days.

John

Moving On Out!

Today is a huge landmark in my life: I am finally flying the nest, as they say (whoever 'They' are). I picked up the keys to my new flat earlier today, and come the 20th of September, I'll be moving in with my friend from University. This means a number of things:

• I will not likely have internet access for a week or two
• I shall FINALLY own a double bed!
• I shall be making a video about or move.

Needless to say, this is an exciting time and I'm really looking forward to it! More clubbing and pubbing freedom, which is never a bad thing! So yeah, epic and crazy times from here on in. Wish me luck, guys! Have a great week!

A New Love

So, a small blog post today. Thanks to Duncan MacLeod, I have become highly attracted to Kristin Chenoweth (Olive from Pushing Daisies). I never intended for this to happen. What was even less intentional than that was falling in love (not literally, gosh!) with Joe Moses' interpretation of Snape from A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel! Life, eh?

Above: Kristin and Snape; the only people I could love MORE than Bigfoot!

Defection: A Halo Webcomic

So yeah, I'm gonna try my hand at a webcomic. It's totally non-canon, of course, but it'll be interesting to see how I do. It's more at a concept stage presently, but I have created an interesting poster/cover art for the comic. Expect drama. Expect action. Expect defection.

Peace out guys, hope you are looking forward to seeing something other than films from me!
you can view the first part in the useful links to the right. Just click the Defection Webcomic and be transported an the great journey!

DISCLAIMER:
"Defection" was created under Microsoft’s “Game Content Usage Rules” using assets from HALO 3, © Microsoft Corporation.

Everyday Life: Episode Fifteen - "John"

Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of ideally over 16, as the show contains naughty language...I announce today that the latest episode of Everyday Life is available worldwide, right now! Episode fifteen, entitled "John", focusses on the transformation of the character from a random, irresponsible boy into a badass motherfudger of a man!

But he hasn't done so on his own.

Introducing a brand new character, Episode fifteen is the longest episode yet (spanning over eight minutes in total length!). It may not be the most comically-packed episodes, but it all builds up to what promises to be an hilarious penultimate showdown in the next installment of Everyday Life.

Enjoy viewing and peace out 'til next time!

J. Walton

Everyday Life: Series Three, Episode Four - "John"

Everyday Life: Season 3, Episode 4 - "Courage"

Filming begins on the next epiosde tomorrow (weather permitting). The title is just a working title, but it's amazingly good to know that I'm finally on the way to completing a series that began a year ago! Hopefully the episode will be available for viewing on Tuesday!

"The Clown (Le Queloune)"

A short film by Patrick Boivin, "The Clown (Le Queloune)" is a strange mix of the humourous, the emotional and the thought-provokingly genius. Following the re-animation of a deceased clown, the film illustrates the life (if that is, indeed, the word) of a newly-risen zombie, and his coming to terms with such a fact. "The Clown" is only a little over eleven minutes long, yet in that time I found myself feeling a myriad of different emotions. Boivin has surely created a piece of art with this film, where lack of dialogue does so much more in making the film as brilliant as it is. The cinematography is beautiful, and the pacing; perfect. All in all a masterpiece of short film that says only what it needs to. Be prepared for an ending that is so fitting it left me watching the whole thing again! Linked for your enjoyal; "The Clown (Le Queloune)".

The 'English' of Today

Now, I know that a lot of you will think this post is just nit-picking, but it discusses a subject which is a real pet peeve of mine: the manner in which today's youth are slaughtering the English language with strange text which, really, isn't that much easier to write than it's legitimate counterpart. Please don't get me wrong, here - I'm no spelling whizz (I'm certain I have, or will have made some mistakes by the end of this post) but at least I am trying to use the correct English.

I point you, readers, to this post I found on YouTube:

"i love 2pints love dis tuneee !! ha ha donna duz have a relii gud voice ! love dis show !!!"

It seems that not even writing this down in italic could make it look prettier. It's essentially like dressing a horses' excrement in a tutu and saying "Please look pretty". But I digress. The above quotation horrified me. SO much wrong, I actually felt like commenting back on the video to suggest she pay attention in English lessons, rather than give random boys handjobs at the back of the class.

Let us translate:
"i love 2pints love dis tuneee !! ha ha donna duz have a relii gud voice ! love dis show !!!"
Becomes:
"I love 'Two Pints' and I love this tune! Haha, Donna does have a really good voice! I love this show!"

Now, doesn't that look so much better? Of course it does! It scares me how much the youth of today seem to have invented their own language! I'm only 18, and yet I cannot understand half of what is said anymore. Does it really save time writing 'relii' than 'really'? If so, then it can only be about half a second. I don't even know why it annoys me so much, it just does.

And that is my rant for the day ^ ^
Peace out!

*NEW* Everyday Life Commentary

Ok, so I uploaded a brand new (ish) commentary onto YouTube from the Everyday Life episode, "Memories". Commented on by myself and Richard Betts - not much get's said in terms of information, but it's worth checking out :)

You can view it here!

Bigfoot: A Real Species

Well the question is this; how can we say something with so much evidence cannot outright exist. I have been watching a lot of documentaries on YouTube recently and am fascinated by the evidence gathered.

The Discovery Channel broadcast a show (the link to which I will provide) which states that "There are over 400 credible Bigfoot sightings a year" [1]. This is merely the start of a documentary which really cements the credibility of an unknown species of North American ape.

Looking first of all at footprints, and particularly at the distribution of footprint size, two experts have come up with some interesting conclusions. One, a man who works for a CSI team who examine the fingerprints and other skin detail of the footprint plaster casts concluded that they were genuine, non-human and unlike any ape he has ever examined. Bare in mind that if you watch the whole documentary, you will learn that he has examined plenty in his time.[2]

The second expert looked at the difference in footprint sizes, hoping to find either a staggered and random set of results (indicating a fake) or a bell-curve (which indicates a natural graph of a living species). He found the footprint sizes documented made a very decent bell curve. [2]

Then we must take into acount the Patterson-Gimlin Film [3] which, after numerous experts examined it, seems to have a very high chance of being authentic. There is apparent muscle movemtn beneath the skin and fur, the right thigh appears to be carrying what some experts describe as a hernia!

Also as, the expert describes, the bigfoot in the film is clearly female as it has a pair of very distinct breasts; why would Patterson construct an already difficult, if not impossible suit with breasts when Bigfoot reports have been predominantly male? [4]

Everything from the gait, the proportions and the aesthetic of creature apparently points to it being of natural origins and non-synthetic. Why, then, should it be so hard to believe that Bigfoot really DO exist? I'll leave you to watch the evidence as gathered in the below bibliography and make up your own minds about whether it is likely that North America is, indeed, home to the legendary Sasquatch.

[1] Documentary, Part 1 of 5
[2]Documentary, Part 5 of 5
[3]The Patterson-Gimlin Film
[4]Analysing the Patterson-Gimlin Film

Life is Good!

It's fucking hot, isn't it!

With the obscenities and general heat-related comments out of the way, let's get the funk on with this weeks blog! (See what I did there ;) ). So, I'm attempting to re-do Halo 3 on Legendary, and it's not going too bad now i've defeated the virtual beast that is Tsavo Highway!

On a less geeky note, ive done NOTHING else to Moonlight over Cretlin because - and here's my great excuse - I can't be arsed! Seriously, I know it will just lag out and i'll be angry for twenty minutes, so I'll leave that for a day when i'm REALLY happy!

In other news, I've resigned my position as Admin at Stalkers Ranch, but that doesn't effect you guys so ya...

Um...

Currently listening to David Bowie and waiting for England V Germany! Shit's gonna go down one way or another in that game!

Moonlight over Cretlin: New Trailer

New trailer up for Moonlight over Cretlin. Check it out:
Moonlight over Cretlin | Official Trailer #2
Peace out for now, guys!

General Updates

Essentially, this is a confession: I have been really fucking lazy recently.
And this isn't the regular dose of the CBA's. I have literally done nothing on "Moonlight over Cretlin" to further the state of production...I literally fail harder than an empty roll of toilet paper. However, now I am inspired, and have some rather brilliant updates to hand over to you; and only one of them concerns MoC!

So, to get that one out of the way: work begins on the next scene tomorrow for "Moonlight over Cretlin" - so that will leave only three or four scenes left to shoot and edit! Then you will be able to watch the most epic machinima I have ever made...I really hope it doesn't suck.

Secondly, I am going to make an Everyday Life movie after season three has ended. I said I wouldn't, but I am. So yeah, be on the lookout for that sometime in 2011.

And that's it...okay, so they weren't epic updates as such, but neither was the third Jurassic Park film (and I pride myself with the knowledge that I can never fail as much as that film!). So, all the best and i'll update again soon!

John

And Thus Ends Chapter One...

Hey followers
I know I haven't written in a while, but it's being pretty chaotic around here. I've just finished my first year of Uni, and thus have had a lot of assingments and an exam. Plus, with Moonlight over Cretlin, parties and life in general, I haven't found much time to update this blog.

But I'm back now, and things are going well! I'll write with more important soon, gang!

Annoying Achievements

Ok, so ever since my brother somehow got our shared gamer profile banned from Xbox Live (kudos to the company, by the way, for TOTALLY clearing up the details of that bullshit ¬¬) I have been trying to regain my Halo 3 and ODST Achievements. Sad? Yes. But that ain't the point of this rant.

I am now tasked with the Everests of under valued achievements to re-earn:

• Vidmaster: Annual - 0G: "Complete the final level of Halo 3 on Legendary with the Iron skull turned on, on 4-Player Xbox Live with everybody in Ghosts". You don't have to be a Halo geek to understand that this is incredibly frustrating and hard to do. Especially since everyone and their mums already have it!

• Overkill - 5G: "Get 4 kills within 4 seconds of each other in any ranked free for all playlist". Now, seeing as Lone Wolves is the only consistant free for all playlist, and has only 6 players per game, with a respawn time of roughly three seconds, mathematically the odds of getting this one are slim, at best.

• Two for One - 5G: "Get two kills with one Spartan Laser shot in any ranked free for all match". Essentially see above, but this time calculate the odds of two players standing within the range of a linear beam with enough time to charge the laser and kill them both. Then add in the fact that there are very few maps with the spartan laser on that appear in free for all games.

So, to summarise; yes, I'm a total geek who gets pissed off at the most geeky things too easily - and yet I'm more annoyed because I feel I have a right to keep these achievements, having earned them once before. Paaah, I'm going to bed. Anyone wanna do Annual, Endure or Deja Vu - message me!

Moonlight over Cretlin: Update #2

Hey again, guys.
Bit of a snag regarding Moonlight over Cretlin - the game is lagging like hell, so shooting of this scene is going incredibly slow. HOWEVER this will not prevent the film from being finished indefinately. Just need to be patient and eventually the shots will be aquired. This is, in terms of special effects, the hardest scene to shoot, so bear with me. Remember that the machinima work I do is produced entirely on my own, so naturally things take a little bit of time!

That's all for today, stay tuned folks!

Moonlight over Cretlin: Update #1

Hey guys
Basically, not a lot has happened recently regarding my machinima movie, Moonlight over Cretlin, so now I've decided to take the time to explain why this is so!

Basically, University has kept me insanely busy recently, what with two mega assignments, a phase test and now an upcoming exam. This latter test of my knowledge COULD mean that the release date for the movie could move into early Autumn, but let me assure you it will be out this year!

For those of you who can't wait to watch it, and are thinking of giving up on it ever coming out; HOLD IT! I am about to disclose some killer information! A big character from the Explorer Chronicles (prelude to MoC) is making a return in the final acts of the film, so keep watching this space!

Until next time!

Goodbye Walton Films

As those of you who are familiar with my film work will know, since my first video was uploaded to YouTube in early 2008, I have been operating under the banner of Walton Films. Explorer Chronicles, Moonlight over Cretlin and, of course, Everyday Life - all big projects of mine which will soon be the last films to be released under the Walton Films company.

Since expanding to accomodate a total of six employees, (OMFG, no wai! A whole 6?!) I have decided that it is shamefully self-congratulatory and selfish to name the company after myself. Therefore, the last two episodes of Everyday Life and Moonlight over Cretlin will be the final Walton Films products before the big change.

So what shall we be called?

WELL I've toyed around with a few names, but the one that really stuck was simple: Landmark Productions. And so, ladies and gentlemen, this is what we shall be known as henceforth. And with that I bid you a good day!

Top Twenty Oasis Songs

Okay, so I watched a show the other week about the top twenty Oasis songs in their career. Now, I didn't agree with more than a few of them, so here is my personal list - enjoy :D

#1: Don't Look Back in Anger
#2: Stand By Me
#3: Roll With It
#4: Let There Be Love
#5: Little By Little
#6: The Importance of Being Idle
#7: Wonderwall
#8: Some Might Say
#9: The Masterplan
#10: Soldier On
#11: Supersonice
#12: Keep The Dream Alive
#13: Where did it All Go Wrong?
#14: Sunday Morning Call
#15: The Hindu Times
#16: Pass Me Down the Wine
#17: Gas Panic!
#18: Stay Young
#19: Cigarettes & Alcohol
#20: Part of the Queue

RE: Liam Gallagher at The Brits

Okay, so as you all may well know, I am a massive fan of Oasis (No, REALLY?!), so as you can imagine I was pretty stoked to hear that the award for the best british album of the last thirty years went to Oasis for What's The Story (Morning Glory) - but that was where my pride and pleasure ended.
What proceeded pissed me off to no end as, with all the style and grace of a one-legged elephant, Liam Gallagher waltzed on stage, thanked the band members (spectacuclarly forgetting to even mntion Noel who wrote the fucking songs on that album!), before proceeding to not only drop the microphone after a pretty piss-poor speech but to then give the award to the audience. Fair play, if this was some nice guy who genuinely felt "Hmmm, well, I enjoyed the music and it WAS written for our fans and inspired by their support - maybe THEY are the true winners" ... but this was Liam Gallagher, and what it meant was "I don't need a fucking award to tell me i'm the fucking best".
Perhaps it would have been better to have Noel rather than his arrogant little brother up collecting the award - after all, were it not for him then the album, nay, the world would no longer have:

- Wonderwall
- Don't Look Back in Anger
- Roll With It
- Morning Glory
- Champagne Supernova

And so much more. Peter Kay said that Liam was a knobhead. I couldn't agree more.

Standing on the Shoulder of Giants

Okay, so recently I purchased Oasis' album Standing and the Shoulder of Giants, right. Now, I had previously avoided it with as little thought as Dale Winton gives to the in creasing orange-ness of his appearence. However, I gave in and nabbed it because I wanted to have all of their albums (even the shockingly awful Don't Believe the Truth, which has just three good songs on it).

And it's an absolutely stunning album!

Serious, I really do reckon that SotSoG deserves a little more recognision. I mean, yeah, it's a bit different to the usual "mad fer it" tunes, but come on, I defy anyone to listen to 'Sunday Morning Call' or 'Where Did it All Go Wrong' and not feel something stir inside them. Fair enough, not all of the tracks are incredible, but the vast majority gives SotSoG a welcome, chilling vibe. 'Who Feels Love' and 'Roll it Over' are simply the most amazingly strange songs ever, in terms of the feelings they give!

So yeah, buy this blinding album, because if you don't, then you are seriously missing out!

Updates Galore!

Oh Em Gee, what the fuck bee bee cue! Sorry I have taken so long in updating this to my two, GLORIOUS followers!

Really, there has been so much going on lately I just haven't found time to update, so prepare for a nice, big, juicy informational BOMB! At the same time, however, i'm off out to karaoke night down my local in ten minutes, so i'm gonna try and condense a wall of text into a brick, so to speak!

Moonlight over Cretlin:-
Is slowly (but surely) being produced. Stil llooking for a summer 2010 release, but stay tuned to my youtube page for further details AND an interview coming up soon!

Everyday Life: Season 3 Finale:-
Hasn't even been thought about because of...

Everyday Life: Live:-
...The fact that Everyday Life: Live is being scripted, cast, venue-hunted and generally forced through pre-production. Toying with some cool ideas that I hope will make you all laugh your little asses off at, but then again ... perhaps a half full monty is too risque ... We shall wait and see!

Publish That!:-
A new comedy series to succeed Everyday Life once the series comes to a dramatic close this year. Follows a four-man news team who are trying to make their weekley news letter successful in a small, rural town. Should be hilarious, must wait and see!

University:-
Is boring as shite mostly, but the lectures have to be attended, so let's just get on with it

AND

That's all for today's update, hope you loved it ... not really, bit shite wasn't it - massive anti-climax to be honest BUT stay tuned for more thorough posts in the future!
All my love, my darlings!
J.W.W xxx